Seriously. Not only have they provided me with the bulk of my employment since leaving music college, they also build the best cars, tools and appliances in the world (yes, you do; don't pretend you don't) and they're currently on course to be my Number One Readership Nation. On top of that, they're honest (mostly) and clean. This ticks a large box in the northern hemisphere of my brain. Let's also not forget Richard Wagner and Richard Strauss, two mainstays of my day-to-day emotional stability, and Dolly Buster, a very underrated actress. Germany also provided me with my all-time favourite joke, which I'll recount here:
Three boys in the school playground are taking bets as to whose father is the fastest. The first one says:
"My dad's the fastest man in the world. He's a Formula 1 driver and goes at 400kmh"
The second says: "Ah, that's nothing. My dad's an astronaut and can fly to the moon in half an hour".
The third one says: "You're both pathetic. My dad's easily much faster than both of yours". Intrigued, the two other boys ask him what he does.
"He's a civil servant. He knocks off work at 5pm, but at three-thirty he's already home".
The punch line actually works better in German (..."der hat um 17 Uhr Feierabend, ist aber schon um halb vier zu Hause").
See? It wasn't even dirty.
Did I mention the Oberfranken micro-breweries?